My arms,
Unbroken lines, splitting the air,
Yet not feeling its struggle,
Against my motion.
I am falling.
My eyes,
Calm and still,
Alleys of Blank Darkness,
Seeking nothing, yet finding it.
I am falling.
My feet,
Parted and independent,
To each its own flight,
Knowing of its own existence, for once.
I am falling.
My form,
Symbol of Rejection - the cross,
Descending parallel to the earth,
Disapproving authority, theirs or mine.
I am falling.
My-self,
These swift seconds,
Of union with the elements,
And of this cherished loneliness.
I am falling...
into my
peace of mind.
into my
peace of mind.
5 comments:
last line sucks
ur best work
gr8 use of rheotric - symbol of rejection
seeking nothign yet finding it
gud
ur best i daresay
yet there is a hitch tht i had in reading it
its not wuite a free fall when one tried to read it
honest , gr8 thinking , even put in a mildly interesting manner
definite spurt of wat PUBERTY ?? [ps just read anant ki prem kahani ]
i knw u all must think m pathetically useless to comment everywhere..well m stuck in traffic, n ya u guys write amazingly well :P
presuming ur name is sidhant..or sidhart or sid-something...
so, sid-something..
wow.
well written
all u guys have SO much tallent..
no flattery involved..
hu would even imagine the amount of potential CMS has !!
seriously..
about the poem:
i think everyone has there own perspective, n its beautiful how you've gone about yours...creative...rhetoric as "Photogenic devil" pointed out..
well written.....
i like such poems, that leave an incomplete feelin..
you know...
better than each line having four words and every alternate rhyming...this is good.
the sort you convert into a song n all.
well written.
haven't really gone thru more on your space..bt m sincerely lookin out fr more !!
take care..
n good luck with the CMS critique :P
guess you wouldn't know me, so rather not leave a name. bye bye !
thanks for the comment shefali ...
and my name is siddhant ..
if you remember you've listened to my voice ....
neat attempt.
^^
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